


Lamentations

by thatguy516



Series: Triskelion [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bastille - Freeform, Break Up, Don't worry tho, Hurt/Comfort, It's got a happy ending, Love, M/M, Pompeii, Songfic, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 14:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1514417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatguy516/pseuds/thatguy516
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek reflects on what he really lost the day Stiles walked out the door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lamentations

  
_I was left to my own devices Many days fell away with nothing to show_   
_And the walls kept tumbling down_   
_In the city that we love_   
_Great clouds roll over the hills_   
_Bringing darkness from above_

 

As the sun sets over Beacon Hills, Derek Hale stands on the balcony of the apartment that he and Stiles once shared. The sun is no longer visible, having fallen from the sky minutes before. Darkness is falling over the town, and tiny pin-pricks of light are beginning to appear on the horizon. The sky is a deep shade of blue, and the Beacon Hills skyline is little more than a black line creeping its way through the darkness.

 

 This is Derek's favorite time of the day; the last remnants of light ease away, taking with them any evidence of the day. All the pain, exhaustion, and anguish that comes from a long day spent under the crushing fist that organized society constantly holds over us simply slips away, fading into nothing as the world cleanses itself in preparation to start it all over again. Darkness, at least in this sense, is the world's great equalizer.

 

 Try as he might, Derek can't help but think of Stiles as he stares wistfully into the night. It is something they shared; they both had an appreciation for the beauty in nature. There was no telling how many mornings were spent on this balcony, just the two of them, looking over the town they had both given so much to defend. Derek always woke up early, because sunrises mean the world to Stiles, and Derek always wanted to be there to share the better parts of life with him.

 

They were completely different people, at almost opposite ends of the spectrum, yet they meshed together beautifully, or at least, they had for a while before Stiles left.

 

It's funny. Looking over the horizon, Derek can lose himself in the night; if tries hard enough to pretend the gaping hole in his world just isn't there, threatening to swallow him whole with every breath he takes, he can almost convince himself that Stiles is there with him and that everything is right once again.

  
_But if you close your eyes,_  
 _Does it almost feel like_  
 _Nothing changed at all?_  
 _And if you close your eyes,_  
 _Does it almost feel like_  
 _You've been here before?_  
 _How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_ _  
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

 

_Almost._ It's a funny word, and one that Derek hates. “Almost” is an empty word. It carries with it promises of great, beautiful things, but in the end it brings nothing. Worst of all, it holds hope; _maybe,_ it promises, _if you try again, you'll get lucky this time._ It is a word that does nothing but tease in the most cruel way possible. Once it instills hope in you, it rips it from you, leaving you more broken than when you started.

 

No, he decided. There is no force on Earth (short of Stiles himself) that can fill the void that was created in his life when Stiles left. He was – _is_ – Derek's mate, and wolves mate for life. Derek wants to be mad at Stiles for leaving him broken like this. He tries to tell himself that the pain he's in is not his fault, that Stiles is a jackass with no feelings. Deep down, though, Derek knows that he's at fault just as much as – if not more than – Stiles. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and though the two of them knew that, neither of them were willing to admit defeat. They both could see their lives falling apart around them, but to make the first move would have been to concede in whatever petty fight they happened to be in the middle of. In hindsight, Derek realized just how stupid he'd been.

  
_We were caught up and lost in all of our vices_   
_In your pose as the dust settled around us_   
  
_And the walls kept tumbling down_   
_In the city that we love_   
_Great clouds roll over the hills_   
_Bringing darkness from above_   
  
_But if you close your eyes,_   
_Does it almost feel like_   
_Nothing changed at all?_   
_And if you close your eyes,_   
_Does it almost feel like_   
_You've been here before?_   
_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_   
_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

_  
_The last traces of light vanish into the ever-creeping darkness, and Derek has an epiphany. In that moment, it's as though someone lights a fire in Derek. The cold emptiness that has pervaded him for months doesn't seem quite so oppressive. Suddenly, his head is clear. There is one, solitary thought in Derek's head. It stands out as the only truth, and everything else is rendered unimportant in comparison. He has to get Stiles back. There's no way he can continue to live his life like this. Stiles was – _is_ – his world. He doesn't know that Stiles would want him back, or how to even begin looking for him, but he needs to try. He knows that in every fiber of his being, just as he knows that breathing is necessary to his survival. To do anything else, to accept anything less, would be akin to lying down in a ditch and dying.

 

It's just not an option. He's had enough of wallowing in his self-pity, and he's certainly had enough time without his mate in his life.

  
  
_Oh where do we begin?_   
_The rubble or our sins?_   
_Oh oh where do we begin?_   
_The rubble or our sins?_   
  
_And the walls kept tumbling down (oh where do we begin?)_   
_In the city that we love (the rubble or our sins?)_   
_Great clouds roll over the hills (oh where do we begin?)_   
_Bringing darkness from above (the rubble or our sins?)_

 

 

His very bones are reverberating with the hum of excitement he feels just thinking of seeing Stiles again. Every fight they ever had flashes before his eyes, and everything seems so meaningless now. All the little things they fought about were not important; much more important were the times that Derek passed up an opportunity to show Stiles he loved him. Every time he could have taken Stiles's hand in his, or pressed their lips together, or stared into those deep, beautiful brown eyes, Derek was given the opportunity to complete himself and another person. To pass that up, as he often had, was the real crime.

 

Still, Derek has no idea what to do with this revelation. He has absolutely no idea where to even begin looking for Stiles on his own. Stiles only told two people where he was going and Derek tried numerous times to get Scott or the Sheriff to give him some sort of clue. They were both adamant that Derek was out of Stiles's life for good. He was persistent, but they refused to cave. It got bad, actually; for a while, the Sheriff circled his house in Mountain Ash to keep Derek away, and he and Scott refuse to answer any of his calls.

 

Still. There's no way Derek can do anything but keep trying. He knows what he's missing now, and, even though he doesn't know what he's going to say to Stiles, he knows he's gonna show him that he deserves a chance to prove he's worthy of the teen's love.

  
_But if you close your eyes,_  
 _Does it almost feel like_  
 _Nothing changed at all?_  
 _And if you close your eyes,_  
 _Does it almost feel like_ _  
_You've been here before?

  
_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_   
_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_   
  
_If you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?_

_Yes,_ Derek thought, _I can do this. I can make this work, and it's definitely the right choice_. He takes a moment to gather himself, grabs his phone, and dials Scott's number.

 

The call goes to voicemail almost immediately.

 

He calls again. The call still goes to voicemail almost immediately.

 

He calls one last time; the rejection doesn't surprise him. If anything, it makes Derek more determined to prove to Scott he's ready for this.

 

He pulls on his favorite leather jacket, takes one last look at the stars, and then _runs_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm so sorry it took so long to get up. I can tell you, though, that part 3 is already in the works, and I should have the first chapter posted within a week. 
> 
> I promise that I'm gonna address the really obvious issues/loose ends/various other oddities in the next part of the series, titled "Perspecitve"
> 
> As always, I don't own any publicly recognizable characters, situations, locations, etc... in this work, nor do I own any rights to the song "Pompeii". Done for fun, not for profit.
> 
> If you liked it, lemme know in the comments and/or via tumblr (thatguy516.tumblr.com).


End file.
